On July 3rd, I went to Saturday night mass, because I was going to be cantering.....Boy...first time...how embarrassing. Before mass I prayed that I could learn well what I needed to learn. God really took my prayer to heart.
I could tell everyone knew that I was new. Even before mass, while I was waiting in agony for mass to start, a lady walked by me, and tapped my knee encouragingly, as if to say, "Don't worry, sweety. You'll live through this."
I was doing just splendidly until the first song, and I had to talk before the whole congregation. Yipe! No, I'm just kidding. I did ok on the announcement before mass and pretty well on the first song, and all they way up to the responsorial psalm. I don't think you could bomb anything as well as bombed that. OI! I did the first verse fine, in the second verse I repeated a line twice, in fact, I didn't even finish it. As for the rest, I totally lost where I was on the page, and for about 20 seconds, with the organist holding the note and me making expressions of complete bewilderment, every one's face in the congregation was full of pitiful merriment for me.
I saw many a grin that night. The next thing I was supposed to lead was the "Alleluia." I thought I had it all down, but when you forget that you have a verse to sing, leaving your book on the piano will not help you to remember it. So after we all sang the "Alleluia," and after about 10 painfully quiet seconds, (except for the part where the organist was trying to help me out by whispering from 7 feet away,) the deacon covered for me by just saying the verse. I was so appreciative. From then on out it was fine, er, well, as fine as it could be after that....(nervous chuckle.)
The three Boutross girls and Adam came to be moral support. After mass was over, I met them in the hall. They were so nice. Kristen and Kari were telling me how fabulous I really was, because if they had tried to do that, they would have died. Adam felt really bad for me, and he was so nice about it. He said when he saw me go back to my seat, I looked pale and was worried that I might get sick then and there. But in reality, I nearly laughed while was up there in that awkward situation, not only because I was real (practically) knee-buckling nervous, but also because I couldn't help seeing the funny side of how ridiculous my horrible mess-up was.
But I am quite determined to do it again, not the mess-up part, but vanquish the nervousness I have of people. Haha!
7 comments:
I never liked cantoring, so your brave determination is better than mine
Why, thanks Bridget!
ouch. that quite an experience. I kinda had one like it.
Oh, yeah? Do tell! :D
Not too bad. It'll become second nature after a few more times.
You are very brave doing it in the first place, never mind being excited to do it again! I'm sure you'll do a lot better next time! :)
Not too bad, Jake? If you were only there. I don't know that I could have messed up on the responsorial psalm any worse that what I did. (But pretend that I didn't say that; you know Murphy's law.
But thanks for the encouragement. I am sure you are right, especially with how much experience you have had. I don't mean the kind that I have had.
Thanks, millelacuna!
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